Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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