So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
its not stalking. its research.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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