I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
