Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
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