I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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