Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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