i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
