So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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