I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
