He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
