I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
