So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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