I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
