Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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