She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
