I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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