Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
