So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
