so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
