Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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