Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
