I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
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