cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
