I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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