the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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