I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
