help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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