having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
