worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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