She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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