If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
