Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
