I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize