i can't believe i had my finger in that
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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