So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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