two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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