Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
