Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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