Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
