I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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