Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
