a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
