I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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