I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
