question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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