where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Randomize
