Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
