Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
