Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
