sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
