Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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