I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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