And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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