He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
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