I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
