I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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