fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
