My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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