I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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