So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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