Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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