So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
